It is too soon to try to be strong.
I tried to read a book about one mama's loss. I threw it on the floor. Her baby was sick. Incompatible with life, so they called it.
But my Aaron. Developed perfectly. He wasn't supposed to die. I read about other mamas who start having contractions and they have time for bed rest and medicine to stop contractions. Not me. Not part of our story. Such strong contractions. Emergency C-section. Baby taken from me too soon.
My C-section scar still hurts. I am angry today.
I am not happy for other pregnant ladies. I am not happy for them that they get to hold their babies and have a future with them. And I do not.
No, I am without.
I am without my child. I look at his picture of everyday. He looks like his brother.
I miss him so much.
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