Stories

Confession time: I am kinda tired of reading about lost babies. I avoided the books and blogs and pictures of other people sharing their stories because losing my baby was staring me straight in the face. I didn't need to read about anyone else's loss. Then I started thinking that it would be cool to connect with others and share my story and read other stories. But now, I am kind of back to the avoiding feeling. 

Yet, they just keep popping up. It is almost like it is unavoidable, sadly. It is eyeopening to see and read these stories. Before I lost Aaron, I wasn't really aware of all the lost babies and mournful mamas (and dadas) there were. Even people in my circle. I click a blog to peruse and to my surprise it is from a momma who has miscarried. I hear from an old college friend about her miscarriage. Although I didn't miscarry, I still feel connected to these mommas: for we are mourning some of the same things, specifically, a future. A future with our babes. It was torn apart and lost. I wanted a future with my Aaron. They wanted a future with their babies. 

So I will keep reading those stories. I will keep trying to reach out and connect. Because although it is painful, I wouldn't want my Aaron's story to be tossed aside. He deserves to have his story told and for people to listen to it. As do all the stories of lost babies. The pain pushes us apart from each other but also drives us together. It is a beautiful mess.